Is it only serendipity that brings people to my website? Btzalel wrote that he “did not know we still have psalmists in this day and age.” And then: “What kind of psalm might be appropriate to heal a mentally and emotionally very disturbed, desperate and unhappy woman?” - his ex-wife, mother of his three year old daughter. “You don’t need to respond to this email,” he went on, “but a psalm/prayer for Stella, daughter of Masha, just might be a good thing.”

We spent a pleasant and comfortable 4th of July at Susan and Scott’s, Reid’s brother and his wife. And met business associate Mike with wife, Jen and their two young sons. Jen’s expecting her third child in few months. Her third child - she doesn’t know the baby’s gender. It seems almost matter-of-course lately for expectant parents to know who they’re expecting. Jen agreed with me that the moment of revelation is too precious to be usurped by technology.

On the same summer evening in 1996 that I entered the ICU in respiratory distress, a friend’s husband was involved in a serious car accident that left him paralyzed. Always, at this time of year, I reflect on the events of those months in the hospital and the slow move toward recovery and acceptance. I was luckier than Mike; he is no longer with us. Anniversaries are a time for all kinds of emotions: melancholy mixed with hope.

The diagnosis of illness carries with it so many images: hospital rooms and reprieve, good days, bad days, treatment, time off. How fortunate when there is someone who is there throughout all the times. We also must remember to cherish and care for this caregiver. Witness and support from beginning to end, their love and their loss demand our attention.

My young friend, Jordy, has been accepted into the Reconstructionist Rabbinical College. He will enter in Fall, 2002. Next week, he leaves for Israel, to spend the year in ulpan - intensive Hebrew language study - and then to work. It is a difficult time to be living in Israel; it is always a wonderful time to be living in Israel. I have known Jordy since he and my daughter were in the same Hebrew school carpool. I never thought then that he would choose this path. I share his parents’ pride and their worry.

Our Executive Director at Beth Emet Synagogue, Jill Randell, called me up a couple of months ago and asked if I could write a psalm to read at the Shabbat that would celebrate her 15 years at Beth Emet and her retirement from that vital position. I like to find a bit of text that expands on the theme of these life event psalms. Psalm 92, which we read on Shabbat morning, included these lines, verse 15:

“They shall bring forth fruit in maturity;
They shall be full of vitality and richness.”

I read an interesting book last week: “The Year Mom Got Religion: One Woman’s Midlife Journey Into Judaism” by Lee Meyerhoff Hendler. It had a familiar flavor, as I remembered the true beginning of my own Jewish education, at age 37. I still recall my wonder at finally being able to decipher the Hebrew letters, the sheer joy of chanting Torah, the promise to myself to always light Shabbat and Festival candles. Adults get to choose what they will learn, what path to pursue. How wonderful to know we have chosen wisely.

I have my own set of bedtime rituals: arranging the pillows, making sure the cup of water and the box of Kleenex are within reach, reading while I perch on the edge of the bed - just for awhile. I confess that I sleep with a stuffed animal, a little yellow chick that E.G. gave me before she went away to college the first time; I’m sleepless without it tucked under my arm.

As I write this, E.G. and Reid are somewhere in Colorado, driving west to Los Angeles, where she has decided to move, having graduated from college last Saturday. They are sharing the driving, something neither of her grandfathers would ever have permitted: more evidence of our confidence in her abilities. My heart is divided: sadness that she is moving so far away, worry about her in an unknown place, anticipation of her new adventures. Stay tuned.

Our congregation has had the good fortune of growth; but it has also meant that the building has been outgrown. Additionally, issues of accessibility have needed to be addressed. Now, after the business of raising funds and developing plans has been taken care of, it is time to begin.